signs of getting older

[garry h]

Went to the opticians today and was told I have good eyesight but need glasses for reading so got me thinking of things that make you realise you are getting on a bit,so here goes for openers:-

glasses for reading 
people speaking slower and LOUDER to you 
body travelling south 
your doctor saying "its a good idea at your age to have it checked"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
putting the central heating on just that little bit earlier,
and finally
your hair turns  fiffty shades of grey 

['The Gaffer']

TOP 50 SIGNS OF GETTING OLD
1.      Feeling stiff
2.      Groaning when you bend down
3.      Saying 'It wasn't like that when I was young'
4.      Saying 'In my day'
5.      Losing hair
6.      You don't know any songs in the top ten
7.      Getting hairy ears, eyebrows, nose, face etc
8.      Hating noisy pubs
9.      Talking a lot about joints / ailments
10.    Forgetting people's names
11.    Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort, rather than style
12.    Thinking policemen / teachers / doctors look young
13.    Falling asleep in front of the TV
14.    Needing an afternoon nap
15.    Finding you have no idea what young people are talking about
16.    Struggling to use technology
17.    Losing touch with everyday technology such as tablets and televisions
18.    When you start complaining about more things
19.    Wearing your glasses around your neck
20.    Not remember the name of any modern bands
21.    You avoid lifting heavy things due to back concerns
22.    Complaining about the rubbish on television these days
23.    Misplacing your glasses / bag / keys etc
24.    You move from Radio 1 to Radio 2 to Radio 4
25.    You start driving very slowly
26.    Preferring a night in with a board game than a night on the town
27.    Taking a keen interest in The Antiques Road Show
28.    You talk to colleagues who are so young they don't know what an Opal Fruit is
29.    Taking slippers to friend's houses
30.    Listening to the Archers
31.    Falling asleep after one glass of wine
32.    Never going out without your coat
33.    Getting bed socks for Christmas and being very grateful
34.    When you can't lose six pounds in two days any more
35.    Gasping for a cup of tea
36.    Taking a flask of tea or coffee on a day out
37.    Joining the WI
38.    Taking a keen interest in the garden
39.    Spending more money on face creams / anti-aging products
40.    Spending money on the home / furniture rather than a night on the town
41.    Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather
42.    Putting everyday items in the wrong place
43.    Obsessive gardening or bird feeding
44.    Really enjoying puzzles and crosswords
45.    Always driving in the slow lane, or below 70 in the middle lane - Maybe.
46.    Consider going on a 'no children' cruise for a holiday
47.    Your ears are getting bigger
48.    Joining the National Trust
49.    Drinking sherry
50.    Feeling you have the right to tell people exactly what you are thinking even if it isn't polite

[Moleman]

Oh my god I do a few of them already! 
I like to think I'm still good at remembering names though Tom. 

[Iancider]

Changing expressions too:

On the bus I used to be asked "Are you going all the way" which used to mean are you going to the Bus station

When I dawddled I was asked "Are you coming"

Gangsters used to shout "drop em" meaning guns

Cowboys could say they prefer Chaps to Jeans without ambiguity and a night in the saddle meant just that

When I was gay I was just happy

And it now works the other way:

The old-uns can say " bit of slap and tickle" without soundng risque

And take a trip to "titter zone" without being noticed - (get to the stocking tops and you were laughing)

And we know what Bristol City stands for (not watching football)

And "bowling a maiden over" was never about cricket

Even when traditional barmaids leaned over to pull a pint men would holler "make mine a large one" and "you're looking well Gladys"

"Expecting a warm front?" was not a Weather forecast it was more of a Whether forecast?

Goodness, kids - they don't know what they are missing

[fullpint]

  Most of those Phil apply to me!!! And I'm only 50..

[Bulldog Bri]

Think I'll print off Phil's list and start ticking them off, (expect doing something like that is another thing that should be on that list as well.) Don't think I'll be joining the WI though. Lol

[Daley Down Under]

28 out of 50 here (struggled with number 32) 

[fullpint]

38 for me!!!, 19 I can't see with out them and 49 is on my shopping list for next week 

[Sprint 7]

I'm 62 ,drive a kit car, play drums in a band,  too tall for my hair, still haven't grown up completely and PROUD of it.!!!!!!!!!

[YellaBelly]

See comments in red

TOP 50 SIGNS OF GETTING OLD
1.      Feeling stiff - normally at the wrong time!
2.      Groaning when you bend down - and even more when you get back up
3.      Saying 'It wasn't like that when I was young' - actually, it probably was
4.      Saying 'In my day' - no answer
5.      Losing hair - or just forgetting where you put the wig
6.      You don't know any songs in the top ten - that's because there are no songs anymore
7.      Getting hairy ears, eyebrows, nose, face etc - that's just the caveman in us
8.      Hating noisy pubs - unless the beer is cheap
9.      Talking a lot about joints / ailments - no answer for this one
10.    Forgetting people's names - including your own
11.    Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort, rather than style - onesies all round then?
12.    Thinking policemen / teachers / doctors look young - but that's because they are
13.    Falling asleep in front of the TV - that's known as the 'Eastenders effect'
14.    Needing an afternoon nap - see #13
15.    Finding you have no idea what young people are talking about - you mean they talk?!
16.    Struggling to use technology - I have no problem with my socket set thank you
17.    Losing touch with everyday technology such as tablets and televisions - tablets I take daily, and for television see 13 & 14
18.    When you start complaining about more things -
19.    Wearing your glasses around your neck - that's because the ear hair gets in the way
20.    Not remember the name of any modern bands - see #6
21.    You avoid lifting heavy things due to back concerns - that's because
22.    Complaining about the rubbish on television these days - or the rubbish due to 2-weekly collections
23.    Misplacing your glasses / bag / keys etc - probably in the same place as the wig
24.    You move from Radio 1 to Radio 2 to Radio 4 - doesn't matter anyhow because there always nothing but adverts or talking
25.    You start driving very slowly - to make sure the kit car fuel lasts until the next garage
26.    Preferring a night in with a board game than a night on the town - better than #13!
27.    Taking a keen interest in The Antiques Road Show - nothing wrong with classic cars
28.    You talk to colleagues who are so young they don't know what an Opal Fruit is - what's an Opal fruit?
29.    Taking slippers to friend's houses - saves them borrowing yours
30.    Listening to the Archers - thought that was a drink?
31.    Falling asleep after one glass of wine - too many
32.    Never going out without your coat - the joy of sevens
33.    Getting bed socks for Christmas and being very grateful - as long as they're hanging on the bed and full of kit car goodies
34.    When you can't lose six pounds in two days any more - I'd love to know where you buy your food then?
35.    Gasping for a cup of tea - the drink of Britain!
36.    Taking a flask of tea or coffee on a day out - cheaper than the wife
37.    Joining the WI - don't knock free tea nand biscuits
38.    Taking a keen interest in the garden - got to keep on top of weed, I mean the weeds
39.    Spending more money on face creams / anti-aging products - for your dear one
40.    Spending money on the home / furniture rather than a night on the town - long live Ikea!
41.    Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather - see #32
42.    Putting everyday items in the wrong place - there is no 'right' place
43.    Obsessive gardening or bird feeding - pidgeon pie keeps the shopping bill down
44.    Really enjoying puzzles and crosswords - big prizes, again for the shopping bill (it's called enterprise)
45.    Always driving in the slow lane, or below 70 in the middle lane - Maybe. - unless you have a hard-top for the KC
46.    Consider going on a 'no children' cruise for a holiday - thought that was normal
47.    Your ears are getting bigger - evolution to alleviate the need for #19
48.    Joining the National Trust - probably better deals than most of the big banks
49.    Drinking sherry - your point being?
50.    Feeling you have the right to tell people exactly what you are thinking even if it isn't polite - you're just being 'decisive'

[Daley Down Under]

 

[Moleman]

Very good mate. 

[garry h]

And dont forget all those leaflets that come through the door offering you discounts on life insurance,saga holidays,hearing aids,electric adjustable chairs,chair lifts etc 

[Sprint 7]

Number 50, I like. I used to be decisive but I'm really not so sure that I am now.