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Author Topic: Dumb instructions  (Read 10622 times)

Offline Iancider

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Dumb instructions
« on: 05, March, 2014, 08:32:41 PM »
Today I received a tyre pressure gauge.

No 1 instruction said:

Do not use while the car is moving ???

Anymore dumb-ass instructions out there?

Offline Moleman

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #1 on: 06, March, 2014, 07:00:18 PM »
That is funny. I know I have come across some of these stupid instructions from time to time.  :D

Offline 'The Gaffer'

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #2 on: 07, March, 2014, 12:38:00 AM »
Love it :))

Offline chris61

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #3 on: 08, March, 2014, 12:04:18 AM »
Coffee cups that say 'contents may be hot'
I bloody hope so, it's coffee!
Is anyone familiar with the Darwin awards? Natural selection at its finest! :D

Offline Dibbler

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #4 on: 08, March, 2014, 10:35:37 AM »
Coffee cups that say 'contents may be hot'
I bloody hope so, it's coffee!
Is anyone familiar with the Darwin awards? Natural selection at its finest! :D

My favorite 2 (even though both are classified as as urban myths) make me laugh out loud every time I read them...

http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-15.html

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

Offline Quarrycars

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #5 on: 08, March, 2014, 02:14:42 PM »

I'm not saying we should kill stupid people.  I'm just saying remove the warning labels and let the problem sort it's self out.

Offline SPAXIMUS

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #6 on: 08, March, 2014, 02:54:06 PM »
It is dumb warnings as well. Just bought some peanuts in Waitrose, on the pack under allergy advice, may contain other nuts! This is an improvment on the pack I got on a Virgin flight that said warning contains nuts!

It is a strange world we live in but my company has people employed just to make sure any instructions are not able to be used against us by some idiot. So we now have stanly knife blades with the warning that the pack contains sharp items, which is there for the retail market.

Offline Moleman

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #7 on: 08, March, 2014, 03:42:11 PM »

I'm not saying we should kill stupid people.  I'm just saying remove the warning labels and let the problem sort it's self out.

I think you have good point there.  :D

Offline benchmark51

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #8 on: 08, March, 2014, 04:28:56 PM »
Trouble is companies have to cover themselves due to the risk of
law suits courtesy of the 'claim culture' we all now live with.

Accidents  no longer exist, someone has to be resposible. Money will
make it better though.

' I am a lawyer, feed me'

Offline 'The Gaffer'

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #9 on: 09, March, 2014, 01:48:52 AM »
Trouble is companies have to cover themselves due to the risk of
law suits courtesy of the 'claim culture' we all now live with.

Accidents  no longer exist, someone has to be resposible. Money will
make it better though.

' I am a lawyer, feed me'

Totally agree. No win no fee have it sewn up. Grrrr.

Offline Iancider

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #10 on: 24, January, 2016, 09:59:02 AM »
Motorway signs:

"This is a temporary sign"

"This camera is not switched on"

Next sign...."Sorry just fibbin"

"All traffic exit left"

"Queue Ahead" - I had been in it for an hour!

Followed by "Speed cameras"

And the one you can't see "Fog"

Offline damouk

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #11 on: 24, January, 2016, 11:13:14 AM »
Motorway signs:

"This is a temporary sign"

"This camera is not switched on"

Next sign...."Sorry just fibbin"

"All traffic exit left"

"Queue Ahead" - I had been in it for an hour!

Followed by "Speed cameras"

And the one you can't see "Fog"

The one that worries me the most is the one that says 'end' 

Offline 'The Gaffer'

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #12 on: 24, January, 2016, 12:47:03 PM »


Offline Self Made Man

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Re: Dumb instructions
« Reply #13 on: 29, October, 2016, 05:29:36 PM »
Bought ourselves a fire pit for the garden from good old B&M, once we got it all out of the cardboard box, there was an a5 piece of paper in the middle of it with the usual safety warnings on it, as well as one single instruction:

"Open box and Remove from packaging before use"

First off, what schmuck tried lighting a fire without opening the box to warrant the need for this single instruction in the first place, and secondly, it kinda defeats the point if you have to open the box to find the instructions telling you to open it?

 


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