Little known facts

[Iancider]

I'm on a little enforced rest at the moment having made a blue light dash to hospital on Friday but I hate to be idle so I have been looking at interesting but strange stuff.

Danish Elephant: An elephant in a public Park in Denmark scared visitors who could roam amongst them.  Basically the elephant lost its rag and speared a Skoda Fabia and lifted it clean off the ground.  Now Elephants are intelligent animals and they clearly are wisely offended by the Fabia.  I guess they would be okay with kit cars but would find the seats a little restrictive.  You can understand their frustration can't you.  I mean most cats are happy - Jaguars, Panthers, Cougars, Cheetahs....you can even put a Tiger in your tank.  But poor elephants don't get a look-in unless something is "Jumbo" like portions, or washing-up liquid.  I mean, if I was an elephant I would probably attack Skodas too.

We are not Human: I know it is shocking isn't it.  And I know you will all be looking around at fellow members noting those with excess body hair and longer than normal arms...  But before you go too far, we are none of us - "Human".  [Add silent pause here...........] That doesn't mean that we are aliens either but perhaps we are not quite ourselves recently.  We can blame the Human Genome project for mapping our genes.  A hooman bean is made of 23,000 different types of cells and they knew when the did this experiment that they would have to eliminate any foreign matter they found in the hooman body.  You could imagine that there would be a bit of detritus among the unwashed and some plaque between teeth and so on but here is the result: 

90% of the genetic material in our bodies is not human - YES 90% of US is THEM!. 

Now that doesn't mean we have been buying dodgy burgers from Tesco or that our mothers had a rampant liaison with little grey men with large eyes.  No it is simply that we are full of crap as perhaps has been mooted before.  We rely on a lot of microbes to help us digest our food and some will help it to leave out bodies at very high speed.  We don't like them and clearly they don't like us.  But in the inside of our bodies is a film or bacteria and fungi working as a team to make our lives as interesting and unstable as possible.  Latest research shows that some of these foreign critters actually infect our immune systems to make sure they are not attacked by our defences.  So there you have it we have 23,000 cell types but about 20 million other cells are at work trying to undo us. 

We should all understand that this is a metaphorical warning to us.  Here we are living in our own assumed independence and we are outnumbered by Belgian Bureaucrats telling us what to do.  Look what they did to Greece!

Greece: Most of the debt is to Germany.  Germany lent a lot of money to a country that could never pay it back and years ago for the Greek Olympics.  People have been retiring at 50 to hide the unemployment and there are more civil servants than tax-payers.  The wealth of 12 Greeks is greater than the wealth of the nation.  The total economy of Greece is less than Washington State in the USA but nobody would worry if that got into financial difficulty.  New York is a bigger economy than Washington State and New York did go bust but there was no World crisis. 

Greece has a population of 11 million or about the same as London and Bristol.  Approximately 4 people have a real job and the rest work tables in Tavernas.  They are allergic to paying taxes and basically can't now because that is too much burden for 4 people.  But Mrs Merkel (pronounced Mrs Miracle) believes this will all work if these four people work really hard and pass the debt onto their children's, children's, children's, children's, children's, children's, children's, children's children's, grand children.  And David Camerons friend [NOT] Jean-Claude Juncker had promised that the European bail out fund - into which We are the second biggest contributor would not be used to bail out Greece is now available to keep Mrs Miracle happy.  Now the International Monetary fund are pretty clever with sums and they have computed that plus 100 billion Euros minus 1000 billion Euros is a pretty negative amount and 4 Greeks cannot really afford that.  So really Mrs Miracle is suggesting we should bale Germany out on this one.   

Hmmmm.... now let me think about that one......

Okay got it.  Treat The EU as a 90% infection and apply antibiotics to all Bureaucrats, buy Greece for £10 and have a really good holiday and make our Greeks friends very happy.  If anybody objects - act like and elephant and show them who's the Daddy!

Ian

[longtimecoming]

Jesus Ian, you really are bored. I mean the Elephant wasn't attacking the Skoda, it was using it as a tooth pick.   

[Facial Hair Optional]

You've gone stir crazy already Ian!!!

And boy have you got it in for Skoda Fabia's today or what!!!?? 

[Moleman]

What tablets did they give you? got any spare? 

[Iancider]

No pills but they did keep me staring at a blank wall for seven hours and that is what happens when you read all of the print off newspapers and mags.

Michaelangelo got fed up with white-washing ceilings so look at what boredom did for him! 

Ian

[Facial Hair Optional]

What with all the amazement at your post Ian, we all forgot to ask if you are ok mate?

Blue light dash? Sounds ominous to me.

Hope it was not as serious as it sounds and that you are recovering well my friend 

[Iancider]

Thanks to my well wishers.  I am okay now and just need to take it a little easy for a while.

Ian

[Bulldog Bri]

Take it easy Ian. Any small jobs on the Westie you can get done now?

[Hairy Santa]

Get well soon mate, we are all routing for you

[Iancider]

Well I made it to Sherborne today and everything worked perfectly - even the car was fine.

Yo Ian

[sanzomat]

Hope you are back to full strength soon Ian. Not entirely sure I follow your post but maybe the drive back from Italy has rotted my brain cells (or maybe it was those bacteria...)

[Iancider]

Yes it is complex.  Here's an easier one.

Today I have learned that Dyslexia is an inherited condition - apparently it is in you NDA!

[Facial Hair Optional]

Yes it is complex.  Here's an easier one.

Today I have learned that Dyslexia is an inherited condition - apparently it is in you NDA!

OLO!! Sorry I mean LOL!!

[Badger]

Best wishes and all!
Just as a note though, there was a "Jumbo" tank - a heavily armoured variant of the Sherman: the M4A3E2 Assault Tank